How Stressed Are You?

This is a question you can find the answer to if you complete the online Stress Test at www.bbc.co.uk/labuk  It takes about 20 minutes to complete the questions and tests and at the end you get feedback on your current stress levels, the possible causes and your coping strategies.

It is important to be able to manage your stress because our bodies have not evolved to deal with sustained high levels of stress and it increases your risk  of a range of life threatening illnesses including heart disease and cancer. 

So what do you do if your stress level is high?  One sign of stress is rumination ie going over and over problems in your life, particularly at night.  If this happens to you, Professor Mark Williams of University of Oxford suggests a mindful three step approach that he calls the 3 Minute Breathing Space.

Step 1 Take a minute to acknowledge what’s going on.  Recognise that your mind is racing and that you don’t like it.  It’s ok not to like it so just allow it to happen without trying to fix it.

Step 2 Move your attention to your breathing.  Notice the sensations of the breath from the flow of air over your nose or mouth, down through your chest and into your stomach.  Follow the breath without trying to control it.  If your attention wanders, acknowledge where it went and then come back to your breathing.  Do that for a minute.

Step 3 Expand your attention to your whole body and notice what is going on eg the sensations in your feet, legs, torso, face etc.  Just notice them without trying to change anything.  Leave out or let go of any emotions associated with those sensations.  This may take practice but it is worth uncoupling your experience of bodily sensations from your associated thoughts and feelings

At the end of the 3 minutes, if you are still awake, the worries may still be there but you will be able to focus on possible solutions rather than infecting them with past experiences and regrets.

Confident You!

I read an interesting quote from Nancy dell’Olio in an article in The Independent at the weekend. She said “Since I was a little child in Italy, people have looked at me, and not just because I’m beautiful; it’s something that comes from inside me. I know I’m fascinating…I’m a very loved person.” How fantastic to be that sure of yourself – even if most of us would feel a bit uncomfortable about saying it.

I am teaching a course at Parkside College in Cambridge which is called Confident You. One of the first things that I teach the class is that confident people love and understand themselves. They know their strengths and their weaknesses and are prepared to forgive themselves for the latter while they look for opportunities to develop.

To increase your self-esteem and your confidence, it is important to stop putting yourself down and acknowledge the good things about yourself. A good exercise recommended by Gael Lindenfield (Super Confidence, 1989) is to write an advert to advertise the real you for a personal column or as a letter to a company that might employ you. You must tell the truth and present yourself in the most positive light. You might even design a logo to represent you. You could include compliments and comments from friends. If you find this difficult ask a friend to help you – our friends are less critical of us than we are to ourselves.

So go on, boast about all the good things about you – and enjoy it

Hypnosis and the NHS

You may have seen some reports last week about a press release from the Royal Society of Medicine about the potential benefits of hypnosis.  Jacky Owens of the RSM said:

“Conditions such as depression, pain and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) affect millions of people in the UK and a great cost to the NHS.  But hypnosis can often work where other treatments have been unsuccessful.”

The RSM warn about ‘unregulated people’ who they refer to as ‘cowboys’.  Well, to reassure you, I am member of the National Council of Hypnotherapists and the Complementary & Natural Healthcare Council.  I am committed to my continuous professional development and my practice is supervised and insured.

If you are choosing a therapist it is important that you feel confident in their integrity and their ability to help you.  Look at their websites and phone around 2 or 3 to find out:

• Does the therapist welcome any questions and answer them fully?
• Is the therapist qualified and insured?
• Not guarantee recovery and tell you if she/he can't help?
• Are they open about their fees?

If not, find someone who does meet these criteria.

Open Secrets

I had a great day yesterday at Royston Open Secrets http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_lG9v5w0Oo It was a showcase for local businesses and community organisations.  Despite awful weather, lots of people came along and there was a really positive buzz within the marquee.

I had the chance to talk to people about the things they would like to change in their lives.  Number one on the list was getting better sleep and I was glad that I had taken along some top tip sheets and some hypnotic CDs which are a bargain at £5.

 Other people talked to me about weight issues and controlling bad eating habits.  I've worked with a number of clients on both of those issues and it was a great opportunity to explain my approach to changing the relationship to food.

At the end of the day I was really tired but delighted to have met so many old friends and lots of new friends.  Looking forward to next year's event, 8 July 2012, already.

Planning for a Happy Retirement

There’s a lot of advice available about pensions and planning financially for retirement.  There’s a lot less about planning for a healthy and happy retirement.  Obviously it’s important to plan so that you have enough money when you retire but it’s important to plan for the other aspects as well.

Alex's Model

Retirement should be a positive experience, something to look forward to as you enter the next phase of your life.  My husband retired last year – something he had looked forward to for years.  He is a keen model maker and reader and by the time he stopped working he had a number of projects lined up that he couldn’t wait to start and a pile of books waiting to be read.  At the end of every day he smiles at me and says “Well that was another great day!”

So, if you are getting closer to retirement, what plans have you made?  Are you thinking about carrying on working but doing something different?  Perhaps you are looking forward to spending more time with your family or travelling or pursuing your hobbies.   This may be your opportunity to do some voluntary work.

 If you’re not sure yet what you want to do, start writing down some options, things you enjoy doing, places you like going to, people you want to see  etc.  You may need to do some preparatory work before you stop working.  If you enjoy being with other people this might be the time to join a club or organisation.  You might want to brush-up some skills by enrolling for an evening class or an on-line course.

Also plan for your physical health and emotional wellbeing by reviewing your eating habits and your exercise routines.

Start planning for a happy retirement and remember “Vision without action is a daydream; action without vision is a nightmare” Japanese Proverb

The Importance of Control

There was an interesting item on Radio 4’s “All in the Mind” programme last week. It concerned a recent study by Dr Tim Rees from Exeter University who has been looking at the effect of different types of feedback on the performance of sportsmen and women.

His team found that by putting emphasis on the change being within your control there was a significant increase in performance.   If instead of saying “I lost today because I’m just no good” you say “I lost today because I used the wrong strategy” you give yourself more control and a greater chance of making improvements.  They tested this out by giving feedback to someone playing darts blindfolded – don’t try that at home!

Those results are useful not just for improving sports performance but for performance in all aspects of our lives.  You will feel less stressed and perform better if you focus on things you do have choice and control over.  If you are in a challenging situation it can feel like you don’t have any choices but there may be more options than you think at first.  You have a choice about how you feel, how you respond and how you react.

You might remember the “Serenity Prayer”

I wish to have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

So, to improve your performance at home, at work and in sport, focus your time and energy on the things you do have control over and don’t worry about the things you don’t have control over.